ADVENTURES IN HARLEM Part 2 of Today
So I didn't think there would be more for today but THIS was just too much to resist.
So I was laying in bed and right on the dot as usual somebody was outside screaming. This man was outside screaming "Open the door. I said OPEN THE DOOR!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!" now this went on for a minute or two then there was loud banging and then a crash and then everything went silent. So since I apparently live in the ghetto I didn't think much of if.... That is until my roommate opened the door rushed in and said "ALI!!!! Are you alright???" I told my mom I'd call her back and opened my bedroom door. "Yes I'm ok... What's wrong??" "The front door is broken..." I thought she meant to our apartment and when I discovered it wasn't I didn't really think anything of it. So my roomy and I talk for a minute but then I decide to go see what she is actually talking about. Well I walk down the stairs go around the corner and literally the door is lying diagonally in the doorway... I started laughing in shock as our neighbor smiled at me from outside while he smoked a cigarette. The catch... It is not the entry door that leads into our building. It is our security door that you cannot enter the building without a coded key to enter or to be paged in through the call box! So I went back upstairs and called 911.
"911, what is your emergency?" "Hi, I'm trying to reach non-emergency police." "Ok what is the address?" So I tell her then I proceed to tell her that I think it's a domestic violence dispute and they broke down our door. " She then asks what race they were. She tells me there are police on their way. I grab a sweater and my keys and head downstairs. I walk into the hallway to a gathering of police already in the hallway. Two are gagging at the smell (there is a crazy lady that feeds all the cats of the neighborhood gourmet meals everyday so to thank her they sneak into the building and pee in the hall.) The other cops are bracing themselves to move the door. ONE cop, ONE, picks it up and moves it into the hall sets it down below the mailboxes and says "That was a lot lighter than I expected..." GREAT!!!! That's reassuring for sure!!!!! They take one look at me and say "So you're the one that called? (IS IT THAT OBVIOUS????) Where is the burglary" I say yes as I watch the cops continue to gag and offer to step outside with them so they don't have to continue to prefer death over the stench.
So, apparently if you appear to handle your conversations well on the phone the Harlem Police catorgorize domestic violence calls in as a burglary rather than domestic violence because they are so common. The cops were great! They informed me that they are out there ALL the time in regards to my building because it is basically a CRACK HOUSE!!!!!!!! UHHHHHH HELLLO!!!! WTF???? I'm the girl who has NEVER tried a drug in my life and I live in a crack house?!?!?!?!?! They told me they were out almost an hour earlier for the same thing but saw a work order notice on the door so they just figured it was in regards to the door so they didn't take action!! It took a little blonde girl calling in for them to actually take it seriously!
So after about 20 minutes of them teasing me for living in a place that, and I quote, "We would never live here in this area even if our lives depended on it!" only crack heads live, they said they would definitely be doing drive-bys all night long then proceeded to ask what kind of locks we have on our door????? HOLY MOLY I will probably be killed by, as the cops were SO kind to inform me of, the crack head HOMELESS man that lives in the stairwell between the first floor and the basement!!!!
So FB I hope this isn't my last farewell to you. I hope I have many more of these stories to share... But if this is my last night here on earth just call the Harlem Police and let them know it was probably the homeless crack head or the lonely old crazy lady that feeds the strays filet mignon, mac and cheese and brita filtered water in a solo cup (yeah you think I'm kidding :-/) and know that I should have told many of you that I loved you and I'm sorry I didn't....
So I didn't think there would be more for today but THIS was just too much to resist.
So I was laying in bed and right on the dot as usual somebody was outside screaming. This man was outside screaming "Open the door. I said OPEN THE DOOR!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!" now this went on for a minute or two then there was loud banging and then a crash and then everything went silent. So since I apparently live in the ghetto I didn't think much of if.... That is until my roommate opened the door rushed in and said "ALI!!!! Are you alright???" I told my mom I'd call her back and opened my bedroom door. "Yes I'm ok... What's wrong??" "The front door is broken..." I thought she meant to our apartment and when I discovered it wasn't I didn't really think anything of it. So my roomy and I talk for a minute but then I decide to go see what she is actually talking about. Well I walk down the stairs go around the corner and literally the door is lying diagonally in the doorway... I started laughing in shock as our neighbor smiled at me from outside while he smoked a cigarette. The catch... It is not the entry door that leads into our building. It is our security door that you cannot enter the building without a coded key to enter or to be paged in through the call box! So I went back upstairs and called 911.
"911, what is your emergency?" "Hi, I'm trying to reach non-emergency police." "Ok what is the address?" So I tell her then I proceed to tell her that I think it's a domestic violence dispute and they broke down our door. " She then asks what race they were. She tells me there are police on their way. I grab a sweater and my keys and head downstairs. I walk into the hallway to a gathering of police already in the hallway. Two are gagging at the smell (there is a crazy lady that feeds all the cats of the neighborhood gourmet meals everyday so to thank her they sneak into the building and pee in the hall.) The other cops are bracing themselves to move the door. ONE cop, ONE, picks it up and moves it into the hall sets it down below the mailboxes and says "That was a lot lighter than I expected..." GREAT!!!! That's reassuring for sure!!!!! They take one look at me and say "So you're the one that called? (IS IT THAT OBVIOUS????) Where is the burglary" I say yes as I watch the cops continue to gag and offer to step outside with them so they don't have to continue to prefer death over the stench.
So, apparently if you appear to handle your conversations well on the phone the Harlem Police catorgorize domestic violence calls in as a burglary rather than domestic violence because they are so common. The cops were great! They informed me that they are out there ALL the time in regards to my building because it is basically a CRACK HOUSE!!!!!!!! UHHHHHH HELLLO!!!! WTF???? I'm the girl who has NEVER tried a drug in my life and I live in a crack house?!?!?!?!?! They told me they were out almost an hour earlier for the same thing but saw a work order notice on the door so they just figured it was in regards to the door so they didn't take action!! It took a little blonde girl calling in for them to actually take it seriously!
So after about 20 minutes of them teasing me for living in a place that, and I quote, "We would never live here in this area even if our lives depended on it!" only crack heads live, they said they would definitely be doing drive-bys all night long then proceeded to ask what kind of locks we have on our door????? HOLY MOLY I will probably be killed by, as the cops were SO kind to inform me of, the crack head HOMELESS man that lives in the stairwell between the first floor and the basement!!!!
So FB I hope this isn't my last farewell to you. I hope I have many more of these stories to share... But if this is my last night here on earth just call the Harlem Police and let them know it was probably the homeless crack head or the lonely old crazy lady that feeds the strays filet mignon, mac and cheese and brita filtered water in a solo cup (yeah you think I'm kidding :-/) and know that I should have told many of you that I loved you and I'm sorry I didn't....
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