Just a typical week in NYC.....?

Oh boy oh boy what a crazy weird week. It has consisted of everything NYC has to offer! I started off my week with my first official New Yorker moment when I almost ripped off someone’s head while ordering a coffee and they didn’t understand what a large iced coffee with skimmed milk meant. She just kept asking how do you like your coffee so I continued to repeat myself  “a large iced coffee with skimmed milk.” Finally a coworker interrupted and said “Yes, but how would you like that…” I literally raised me hands shaking them in the air in complete utter defeat as if saying  “I give up” and he said, “do you want milk and sugar?” “NO!!!! I want a large iced coffee with skimmed milk!!” “You mean you don’t want sugar?” “NO! I want a large ice coffee with skimmed milk!” Five minutes later I finally got my cup of liquid crap….

Then I saved a little old lady from getting run over by oncoming traffic… Poor thing had a walker and could hardly move! A taxi came so close to her that her hair went everywhere from the wind off their car. He didn’t even slow down! After a lady and I both screamed on the side of the street watching all of this I ran into traffic and put my arm around her while waving my other arm to signal the oncoming traffic and they all slammed on their brakes going every which way. She finally looked at me and slowly said “I’ll make it there eventually.” A man on the opposite side of the street saw this and ran to me to help divert the traffic around her while I continued to help her across the street. He just kept saying, “Bless you!” to me.

Then I went to my first NYC fashion show that my friend was a model in. So much fun except for the old men that were hitting on me. I came down the staircase and this better looking John Kerry congressmen look-a-like guy grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him basically saying, “There you are, I’ve been waiting for you.” Gag me with a spoon!!! Once he realized I wasn’t going home with him and his pathetic line didn’t work I was able to escape him only to be bombarded by a short Haitian man with a beer belly. He told me how he noticed my eyes…. And my body…. Yes that would be a little throw up in my esophagus.  He then introduced me to Katyia…. His “Russian” friend. Her and I talked for a few before I asked her what she did. She could only mutter “uh” several times before Marcus, my jolly new tubby friend, said, “she keeps me company.” WTF where am I?????? He bought me several drinks, which all my guy friends were thrilled to receive because I wasn’t partaking in them.

Then St. Patty’s Day…. I worked but the FIVE-hour parade took place right outside of my store. We had free entertainment the entire time! At one point a man in his 40’s or 50’s was so drunk that he was rolling around on the sidewalk because he couldn’t walk. He literally rolled off the curb and half of his body was spewing into the street almost getting ran over by a taxi, yes NYC taxi drivers are nuts! We all gasped as a couple guys grabbed him and stood him up on his feet before the cops got there. He finally staggered off when the Rockefeller security guards let him go almost killing himself for a second time while crossing the street when the blinking hand turned red.

Lastly, New York men and dating…. HOLY MOLY!!!!! I just don’t get it. I’ve gone on several dates with one particular person and its just not there for several reasons (that’ll be its own story). He’s nice and fun but he’s just not right for me. Thought I made it clear to him. Then I made sure I followed it up with basically not speaking with him for almost two weeks. Then he hits me up saying I’m impossible to read, he thinks I’m shy and he didn’t think I was into him then asks me out to a movie!!!!! Uh hello…… OBVIOUSLY if I’m not phone stalking you AND I’m female that should be a big hint!!!

WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS STATE???????  It’s like a bad soap opera meets reality TV! But I love it! It’s crazy and fun and weird and I get stories for days! And that’s just one-week lol